Haiku Madness Part Deux

Doubts or dizziness:
not a great pair of choices;
what’s my third option?

What’s my third option?
Is the question I’d ask if
Playing Truth or Dare

Playing Truth or Dare
nowhere to hide, if you’re fair
may feel discomfort

may feel discomfort
is what the doctor says at
proctology time

“Proctology time”:
Not a really favorite
Sesame Street theme

Sesame Street theme
Is great for the nursery,
Not the bordello.

“Not the bordello!”
At the planning board meeting
Neighbors were shouting.

Neighbors were shouting.
I pretended not to hear,
jumping off tenth floor

Jumping off tenth floor
I thought I’d have lots of time
To open my chute

To open my chute
I gave a yank on a cord
My trousers flew off

My trousers flew off
As Jessica walked into
My drab apartment.

My drab apartment
Walls need a splash of color
Should I use pig’s blood?

Should I use pig’s blood?
What are you making, kishka?
You can have my share

“You can have my share

of Google stock,” I said in

two thousand and four.

Two thousand and four:
It was a very good year,
'cept for Sinatra.

'cept for Sinatra.
the Rat Pack, IMHO
were overrated

Were overrated -
And now, thanks to Gallup Polls,
Still overrated.

Still overrated
Too much work, I’m just gonna
Buy my gin from store

Buy my gin from store
And my salt, pepper, and such.
Grow the rest at home.

Grow the rest at home
and save money at the store
sounds like a great plan