Haiku Madness Part Deux

Please don’t serve me them
Bullets on the baseline, I
Suck balls at tennis

Suck balls at tennis
But I’m sure that glad I don’t
Suck balls at bowling

Suck balls at bowling,
and you will be asked to leave.
It’s against the rules.

It’s against the rules
To pinch a biker dude, I
Found out the hard way

Found out the hard way:
never juggle hand grenades.
Timing is tricky.

Timing is tricky -
For example, never set
Bomb timers at ze-

“Bomb timers at ze-”
Said the sergeant, before he
Got fragged from behind.

Got fragged from behind?
He probably shouldn’t have
Pissed that trooper off.

Pissed that trooper off
and got nine traffic tickets;
“Well, Your Honor, uh….”

Well, Your Honor, uh-
oh, I seem to have forgot
to powder my wig

To powder my wig
I require, first, a wig,
and then… some powder

and then some powder
appeared on the horizon,
five minutes too late.

Five minutes too late
I remembered not to hit
“Reply All,” dammit!

“Reply All,” dammit!
What idiot invented
That dumb idea?

That dumb idea?
Licking my eyebrows and a
Wink should do the trick.

“Wink should do the trick”
He said when asked who should be
Hosting Tic-Tac-Dough.

Hosting Tic-Tac-Dough
will be very difficult
but I’ll do my best

But I’ll do my best
I sighed, knowing full well that
My best ain’t that good

My best ain’t that good,
but it’s better than nothing.
(in my opinion)

In my opinion,
cooked carrots are disgusting
I hate hate hate them