She thinks I don’t care
But didn’t I offer all
My Circus Peanuts?
My Circus Peanuts
Seem fresher than yours. Tell me:
Is that possible?
Is that possible?
Well, I suppose it could be;
that’s what the stoats say
That’s what the stoats say,
but take no notice of them.
'cos they know nothing.
'cos they know nothing
they were called know-nothings, an
ignorant party
Ignorant party
Only gets dumber, dumber,
Dumber, and dumber.
Dumber and Dumber
Someone should have told me they’re
Not a great law firm
Not a great law firm,
But Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe
Wins your case through guile.
Win your cases through Guile!
Opposing counsel can’t beat
A Flash Kick Combo!
A Flash Kick Combo!
His punches have kick power
He is Kickpuncher
He is Kickpuncher;
and 'though I’m not Orson Bean,
still, I have no stoats.
Still I have no stoats.
I guess beef will have to do
To make my meatloaf.
To make my meatloaf
I succeeded just twice. Two
Out of three ain’t bad
Out of three ain’t bad,
but out of eighty? That’s just
inconceivable!
Inconceivable!
(How obstetricians describe
Infertility)
Infertility
Was not an issue at all
With my two parents
With my two parents
I shared so many mem’ries;
ah, those were the days!
“Ah, those were the days!”
I said when I saw the squares
On my calendar.
On my calendar,
there’s a picture of a cat.
It’s black with green eyes.
It’s black with green eyes
One of which is open, and
Looking right at me.