In my friend’s orchard
Oranges hang, ripe to pick.
This freeze will kill them!
This freeze will kill them!
We need to harvest, right now.
Heat the packing shed!
Heat the packing shed
She whispered. Now, a pillow
On the table, love.
On the table, love
Off the table, asshol’ry
It’s Christmas season!
It’s Christmas season;
how I love love love it so!
Now, where is Santa…? 
Now where is Santa…?
Last I saw, he was fighting
Ninjas on the porch
Ninjas on the porch
Drinking tea and sharpening
Well-used shurikens
Well-used shurikens:
part of this complete ar’mry
for badass ninjas
For badass ninjas
Who are infesting your porch:
New Flit Ninja Spray!
New Flit Ninja Spray?
Nah, I don’t really mind them;
at least they’re quiet.
At least they’re quiet
When you cut their heart in half.
I heart artichokes.
I heart artichokes
Spade gardens, club baby seals
Diamonds I dunno
Diamonds, I dunno;
but a Smith & Wesson still
beats four aces, friend.
Beats four aces, friend
Whips five of a kind, buddy
— Where was this going?
Where was this going,
And why was I following?
That’s the real question.
-“BB”-
That’s the real question,
Not a fake rhetorical
One. Ya follow me?
One. Ya follow me?
Two. The name is Lonnegan
Three. Remember that
Three remember that
they are just one more than two
simple math, ain’t it?
Simple math, ain’t it?
Two plus two makes seventeen.
(two plus two rabbits)
two plus two rabbits?
well, that’s four rabbits, but what
are two plus two skins?