Haiku Madness Part Deux

Wish I wasn’t gay
Is it too late to go back
Into the closet?

Into the closet
Far, deep, way, way in the back
Go my skinny clothes

Go, my skinny clothes!
Time to start that diet now,
then wear you again.

Then wear you again
I say to myself. And so
Then I lie again.

Then I lie again
And again and again. Yay!
Love, George Santos

Love from George Santos
That’s a lie. I just like you.
That’s not true either

(fixed the first line)

That’s not true either;
Morgan Fairchild (my wife)
just made me say that.

Just made me say that
I did not steal the kiszka
My lawyer, that is

My lawyer, that is
also George Santos, told me,
“Deny everything!”

“Deny everything!”
“You’re a gentleman, Mustard!”
“No I’m fookin’ not!”

“No, I’m fookin’ not!”
MMM insisted, but
I still think he is.

I still think he is
the man who loaned me nine bucks.
Don’t let him see me.

Don’t let him see me
Crying. He told me there’s no
Crying in baseball.

Crying in baseball
Is appropriate when you’re
Hit with a beanball

Hit with a beanball
I was a bit dizzy as
I walked to third base

I walked to third base
But it didn’t count because
I went the wrong way.

I went the wrong way
but the fans corrected me
so it was okay

So it was okay -
The rosemary was blooming
Though the rose wasn’t.

Though the rose wasn’t
In her teeth, we tangoed. I
Won’t say where it was

Won’t say where it was;
Statute of limitations
Hasn’t run out yet.