Rolls Royce aftershave?
But I prefer Sex Panther.
It stings the nostrils.
It stings the nostrils
ginger beer is not that great
drink Vernor’s instead
“Drink Vernor’s instead,”
the celebrity told me.
“Fuck that shit!” I said.
“Fuck that shit!” I said
I was angry at my stool
Constipation sucks
Constipation sucks
A bottleneck of butt pain
Better eat your prunes
Better eat your prunes
Eating healthy is a drag
I’d rather have cake
I’d rather have cake
But I’m allergic to wheat
Cake or death?
Cake or death?
But death takes a holiday.
And so cake it is.
So cake it is
with a flourish I revealed
blueberry cheesecake
(mmmmm 
)
Haiku Police Note: Three syllables??
Haiku Police note: Four syllables.
blueberry cheesecake
is much more desired than
a kick in the ass
Hey - I’m pre-coffee, give me a break. In my head, it was 5 syllables.
C-cake or D-death.
(cerebral stuttering for epic fail)
A kick in the ass
Neglecting 5 7 5
Get with the program!
(heh - I didn’t even notice!)
Get with the program!
If you think you can play, great!
Make sure you’re awake!
Make sure you’re awake!
Your sloth is unbecoming
except for vampires
Except for vampires
There are few that scare me more
Than real fast zombies
Than real fast zombies
What could amuse you better
flesh eating virus
flesh eating virus
Umbrella Corporation’s
New weight loss product!
New weight loss product
OBEY: taking the two pills
I’d rather eat pie
(I think I need to get something for breakfast)