Haiku Madness

much like standard size
or just like one size fits all
that’s unpossible

“That’s unpossible!”
Little Ralphie Wiggum screamed
Now he’s Wiggle Pup

Now he’s Wiggle Pup,
condemned to a canine state
by an evil mage.

By an evil mage
He was turned into a dog
With an evil mange.

much like “standard size,”
you now can’t get a “small” drink
at fast food places

With an evil mange
I went out with a girl. Sniff!
I didn’t get laid.

“I didn’t get laid!”
said the lone remaining tile
('twas still in the box)

'Twas still in the box
Lone, cold chicken nugget found
At fast food places

At fast food places
I like cheeseburgers and fries
and maybe a shake

and maybe a shake
reveals a “proper” lady
is really a whore

Is really a whore,
Yet calls herself a lady –
A rich man’s mistress

A rich man’s mistress
would feel no cause for distress
were she to confess

Were she to confess
I’d stop waterboarding her
at least for a while.

at least for awhile
let’s say beer is a food group.
we can pretend, right?

We can pretend, right?
or maybe we can’t at all
don’t fuck with the truth

Don’t fuck with the truth
justice, American ways
because, Superman.

nm

Because Superman
was unlucky for two guys
we grieve Reeves and Reeve

We greive Reeves and Reeve
Supermen of our youth, yet
were vulnerable

Were vulnerable
is being vulnerable
during a full moon