With a hula hoop
And a plane that loops de loop.
What to get Alvin?
What to get Alvin?
He doesn’t want just mittens
and this tiny glove.
“…and this tiny glove
once belonged to ol’ Tom Thumb,”
the tour guide boasted.
The tour guide boasted
of armies that had been roasted.
I just got toasted.
I just got toasted
Marshmallow stuck to my face
Like napalm candy.
Like napalm candy
'specially in the morning
(or at least it’s smell)
“…or at least its smell,”
I said, explaining how one
may locate a skunk.
“May, locate a skunk”
I asked my assistant, May.
“We shall dine like kings!”
We shall dine like kings
on meat and wine, then chop off
The heads of our wives
The heads of our wives
(er, if we had more than one)
are attached, thank God.
The heads of our wives
Need a flat spot on the top
To set our drinks on.
to set our drinks on.
We need a bar. We have one.
So set them up, Joe.
“So set them up, Joe”
“Screw you, Barack; it’s your turn!”
White House billiards night
White house billards night
takes more balls than you might think
everyone will cheat.
Everyone will cheat
but there can’t be no winner
until I am there!
Until I am there
I am here, or maybe… here!
you never can tell
you never can tell
“C’est la vie”, say the old folks
it goes to show you.
It goes to show you
you shouldn’t mix beer and wine.
You’ll end up like me.
You’ll end up like me.
Posting to Haiku Madness
On a rainy day
On a rainy day
Zimmerman saw two women;
Must we all get stoned?