or to an arrest
then to a prison, or morgue
a drug dealer’s fate
A drug dealer’s fate:
watching all his customers
die horrible deaths
Die horrible deaths
under the little boy’s thumb,
the ants stand no chance.
the ants stand no chance;
my magnifying glass is
their new tanning bed
their new tanning bed?
You won’t find me using it!
Snaps shut like a crypt!
Snaps shit like a crypt
The Crypt Snapper Shutter
Get 'em while they’re hot
“Get 'em while they’re hot”
said jalapeño vendor
with no irony
With no irony,
My suity would soon become
Very crumpledy.
very crumpledy
and grumpely, this is me
even on good days
Even on good days
I have no sympathy for
Jerks who cut me off
Jerks who cut me off
I wish them many painful
Cuts from jerking off
Cuts from jerking off?
Lord, will you never learn. First,
Put the chain saw down.
Put the chain saw down …
When I said you’d PMS,
I was just joking.
I was just joking
I didn’t just see a horse
walk into a bar
walk into a bar
and bump my stupid noggin.
I am so clumsy.
I am so clumsy
I spilled all my ice water
On her tight white shirt
I am so clumsy.
I spilled everyone’s beer when
jerking off in a bar.
Jerking off in a bar
More awkward than spilling beer
on her tight white shirt
On her tight white shirt
I want to place roving hands
and proceed from there.
“And proceed from there.”
She said. It was our first time
But we worked it out.