Haiku Madness

“But we worked it out
with a slide rule,” as Einstein
solved constipation.

Solved constipation.
With a high-fiber diet
Lots of prunes and beans

lots of prunes and beans
are in my recipe for
“Hershey Squirt Delite”

“Hershey Squirt Delite”
Heads rolled at Ben & Jerry’s;
Worst. Ice cream. Ever.

“Worst. Ice cream. Ever!”
Said the kids. I disagree:
I like pickled fish.

“I like pickled fish,”
Opus had said to Binkley
Binkley replied “Yuck”

Binkley replied “Yuck.”
I slapped him and insisted:
“Swallow anyway.”

“Swallow anyway”
Oh, the possibilities…
Nah…way too easy

Nah…way too easy.
It comes, I swallow it all…
Eating contests rock.

Eating contests rock.
Some like to down pies at fairs.
Some prefer wieners.

Some prefer wieners,
But I prefer pie, because
I have a wiener.

I have a wierner?
Don’t think so. I’m a female
Vegetarian.

Vegetarian?
Not me. I like fish, beef, lamb,
chicken, and pussy.

Chicken And Pussy
My new strip club and buffet
Needs a better name

Needs a better name
-last line of the last haiku.
Now let’s continue.

Now let’s continue
As friends, she said, but I knew
She’s no amigo

She’s no amigo.
Even if she is friendly,
She’s an amiga.

She’s an Amiga
Sitting on the shelf next to
Colecovision

Colecovision:
No Guitar Hero for this;
Tambourine Hero?

Tambourine Hero
Played protest songs at Haji
'Til his face melted.