Haiku Madness

'til his face melted
the snowman stood there glaring
at people passing.

at people passing.
I always say “hello” to them.
And get some nice smiles.

And get some nice smiles
from women? I never do.
I wear a scowly face.

I wear a scowly face
That came from a Tea Bagger;
One more faceless crank.

One more faceless crank
Detective Frank has no work
One more caseless Frank

One more caseless Frank?
I don’t mind. I can eat the
meat at the center.

meat at the center?
Not anymore, since his wife
Chopped and grounded it

Chopped and grounded, it
Made a burger that tasted
Nothing like man meat.

Nothing like man meat?
What did you expect when you
Ordered a Manwich?

Ordered a Manwich?
No, not at Dave’s Seafood Shack.
I had red snapper.

I had red snapper.
But I wished it was salmon.
Or maybe tuna?

or maybe tuna
the piano ifa you
are ina the mood

“Are ina the mood?”
I asked her and she answered:
“Yes, but not with you.”

“Yes, but not with you”
Is not what you want to hear
From your conjoined twin.

From your conjoined twin,
It’s tough to receive a gift
That’s a true surprise.

That’s a true surprise.
Party’s guest of honor had
Heart attack and died.

“Heart attack, and died
instantly,” said the cocky
young pathologist.

Young pathologist
was shocked when a corpse grabbed her.
It was a vampire.

It was a vampire
Who starred in that lame movie
Show me some zombies!

Show me some zombies
That can swim, and I’ll show you
The real marine corpse.