Haiku Madness

Contains twelve letters
And every one is an x
Bootleg Scrabble game

Bootleg Scrabble game
on Craigslist, wire your money
to Nigeria.

to Nigeria
sorry for malaria
it was my mistake

It was my mistake
to open this thread with zilch -
but I’m not sorry

But I’m not Sorry!
Nor Clue, nor Monopoly
Just call me Trouble

Just call me Trouble
And call my identical
Twin Double Trouble

Twin double trouble
is not a roll of the dice
the bastard pops up

The bastard pops up
At the most awkward moments
Funeral boner

Funeral boner
Sported by guy with fetish
For chicks dressed in black.

For chicks dressed in black
Doing jumping jacks at beach
Can be hazardous

Can be hazardous,
climbing mountains after weed
and a case of beer.

And a case of beer
goggles, you will end up with
A morning surprise.

A morning suprise.
I woke up with a woman.
It’s my lucky day.

It’s my lucky day
Had a great bowel movement
That smelled like baked bread

It’s my lucky day
Got nose bleeds, flu, chronic sharts,
Glad it’s LUCKY day

Too late

That smelled like baked bread
With Herr Mustard’s Scalp Tonic
You will rise and shine

You will rise and shine
Give God your glory, glory
Children of the Lord

Children of the Lord?
Not bloody likely; he was
A haploid mutant.

A haploid mutant?
I wondered what theH meant.
Well, ignorance fought.

Well ignorance fought:
A nice bucket with no holes
Will bring more water

Will, bring more water
Jim, bring more scoch and soda
Freddy, bring more beer