Freddy, bring more beer
with brandy and the number
of a good hooker.
Of a good hooker,
It’s said you pay not for sex,
But for her to leave.
But for her to leave
Would mean we’re done, and I am
Just getting started!
Just getting started!
Thanksgiving festivities
Who wants some vodka?
Who wants some vodka
soaked tampons stuffed in their snatch?
Martini. Shaken.
Martini shaken
Rossi was stepping out with
The Gallos last night
The gallos last night
Had fellos with bellos and
A yello pillo
A yello pillo
Since Bush was so disgusting,
I can’t type “Dubya”
I can’t type “Dubya”
without also typing “You
Ignorant Douchebag!”
Ignorant Douchebag!
Coprophagous stinking swine!
You shouldn’t call names!
You shouldn’t call names
Unless playing the dozens
Like Bo Diddley did
(Sound recording, but lyrics should otherwise be SFW)
Like Bo Diddley did
I’m inventing my own style
It’s the Mustard Beat
It’s the Mustard Beat
Do it fast or you will have
to ketchup with me.
to ketchup with me
you can’t be mayon-lazy
unless you’re dressing
Unless you’re dressing
You shouldn’t plan to attend
That black tie affair
That black tie affair
So tie a black tie round your
old oak tree penis.
“Old Oak Tree Penis”
Was what she called me, due to
My stout morning wood.
My stout morning wood
Shows that I am just all bark
I’ll knot pine for fir
I’ll knot pine for fir
But not tie elm for maple
I have principles
I have principles
But did Werner Heisenberg?
I can’t be certain