I can’t be certain
That I should close the curtain
I’ve doffed my merkin
I’ve doffed my merkin.
Also, I’ve merkedmy dolphin.
Damn stupid Flipper.
Damn stupid Flipper,
he never stripped a hot babe
or killed a big shark.
“…or killed a big shark
with my bare hands,” said Fonzie,
“though I *have *jumped one.”
Though I have jumped one
'twas a ropey conclusion
I came to alone
I came to alone
And found my liver stolen
Damn you Vegas thieves
Damn you Vegas thieves
Now the whole damn town is one
Deserted desert
Deserted desert
Forsaken, foreclosed, adrift.
Jettisoned Jetty
Jettisoned Jetty
One of my favorite bands
They played surf music
They played surf music
At the tsunami tribute;
Tough crowd; didn’t laugh.
Tough crowd; didn’t laugh
At my 9/11 jokes
9/12 was too soon.
9/12 was too soon.
Kudos on not making jokes
on 9/11.
On 9/11
I hope I get laid and stoned
in honor of me.
In honour of me
do six impossible things
before breakfast time
Before breakfast time
I am none too full of life;
Nor after, either.
Nor after, either
Or we’ll get a Nor’easter
Or else, just Easter
Or else, just Easter
Jesus gave up a weekend
for your sins. Praise be!
For your sins, praise be!
For good deeds you can piss off!
(is that bass ackwards?)
Is that bass ackwards?
No, that bass is a flounder;
Both eyes on one side.
Both eyes on one side,
green fur, and three legs. Egad!
I’ve screwed a mutant!