I’ve screwed a mutant!
There was one advantage, though -
Got twice as much head
Got twice as much head
by hiring two hookers, but
now I’m twice as broke.
Now I’m twice as broke
After buying refried beans
And Doublemint Gum
And Doublemint Gum
Just doesn’t have the Right Stuff;
Got any Beemans?
Got any Beemans?
How about Clove or Black Jack?
Chew some nostalgia!
Chew some nostalgia?
No. I’m not in the habit
of chewing perfume.
of chewing perfume,
no thanks, unless you have some
Bacon Number 5
Bacon Number 5
Over easy, whiskey toast
Draw one through Georgia.
Draw one through Georgia,
And a draught in 'bama, too
It’s a beer road trip!
It’s a beer road trip!
But the bottles keep falling…
Eighty-one…eighty.
Eighty-one…eighty…
I have lost count of all the
Chicks I shagged this week.
Chicks I shagged this week?
Three twenty-year-old bimbos.
I am Hugh Hefner.
I am Hugh Hefner.
Come on, you bodacious chicks,
bang me like a drum.
bang me like a drum
thanks to plastic surgery
my skin is that tight
my skin is that tight
tight as Callista Gingrich
That’s one scary bitch
That’s one scary bitch
And her name is Barry Stitch?
A coincidence!
A coincidence!
May be simple happenstance!
Or something shouty!
Or something Shouty
Smurf would say when he is mad:
"Smurf You, Gargamel!!
Smurf you, Gargamel
He’s the worst Smurf who Smurfed Smurfs
I Smurfing hate Smurfs
I Smurfing hate Smurfs
To paraphrase Bernstein and
Sondheim–Smurf You!