Haiku Madness

Van Lingle Mungo:
A hit for Dave Frishberg,
That is all I know.

That is all I know
I wish that I knew some more
but I only know that

But I only know*–
Next year will constitute a
Brand new page that’s turned

*last poster miscounted

Brand new page that’s turned
with Kindle, is not same as
paper in my hand

paper in my hand
I am such an old fogey.
For paying in cash.

For paying in cash
It’s better at a whore house
Than using a check

Than using a check,
I like pennies, lots of them
To pay my mortgage

To pay my mortgage
I choose in-kind remittance.
Two horses a month.

Two horses a month
Go into Krusty Burger
But they don’t come out

But they don’t come out
As easy as they went in;
Gerbils up the ass.

Gerbils up the ass
Don’t mix donkeys and rodents
When building your zoo

When building your zoo,
Opt for natural settings.
Cages aren’t humane.

When building your zoo
get lions, tigers, bears, snakes and
a platypus, too

Cages aren’t humane
I keep kidnapped children in
Kiddie straightjackets

Kiddie straightjackets,
As I have found out, can be
used on elves and gnomes

Used on elves and gnomes
During faerie ring orgies:
Extra Small Condoms.

Extra small condoms?
I only buy them online
Amazon Prime rocks

Amazon Prime rocks!
He teamed up with Optimus
And punched Megatron!

And punched Megatron!
And tugged on Superman’s cape,
Messed around with Jim.

Messed around with Jim
And then Uhura walked in
Hot, green alien