I’m damn shit hell nice
'cept when I’m ass piss cock mean
Please pardon my French
“Please pardon my French
Tickler,” I implored, as I
Diddled her skittle.
Diddled her skittle
and then sucked on her sweet tarts
She grabbed Mr. Big
She grabbed Mr. Big
And was eager to marry.
Now they’re divorcing.
Now they’re divorcing
And splitting their stuff in half
Cash… their house… the cat…
Cash… their house… the cat…
Even the fruit bowl features
A banana, split
A banana split;
a tree leaved; a shepherd got
the flock out of there.
the flock out of there.
It passes the censor test
You fargin’ icehole
You fargin’ icehole!
You frickin’ frackin’ varmint!
Yosemite Sam.
Yosemite Sam
Is on my mud flaps, guns drawn
Warns you to back off
Warns you to back off
Says “Go ahead. Make my day.”
You better listen.
You better listen.
Sonny was hurt, and was asked:
“You better, Liston?”
“You better, Liston?”
“No, Ali, I still got this
Freakin’ nasty cold.”
Freaking nasty cold
I coughed then shook someone’s hand
Mission accomplished*
*Oh how I wish that “transmission accomoplished” would fit.
“accomoplished” itself has four syllables. 
mmm
Fortunatley, accomplished only has three. I don’t know what my fat fingers were thinking there.
Mission accomplished.
I asked her out. She said: "Not
in a million years
in a million years
my mortgage will be paid off
then I’ll re-finance!
Then I’ll refinance
Bankers Assoc will default
Bunch a lousy jerks
Bunch a lousy jerks,
Can’t masturbate worth a damn,
I need Viagra.