Earned a Purple Fart
By eating plums and eggplant.
Silent but grapey.
Silent but grapey
Harsh bouquet, remnants of skank
My new Pinot Whore
My new Pinot Whore
Can be a jealous lover;
“No fucking Merlot!!”
No fucking, Merlot!
You must stay chaste 'til marriage
Christ, try a corkscrew!
Christ, try a corkscrew!
The apostles cried; changing
water takes too long.
water takes too long
to freeze in my new freezer
so I moved to Nome
so I moved to Nome
Where I met many types of
Russian Eskimos.
Russian Eskimos
See the Kremlin from their house
Hunt moose from Hind-D
Hunt moose from Hind-D
Hunt squirrel from a Black Hawk
Badenov for you?
Badenov for you?
No, I prefer *The Queen of
Spades *by old Tchaikovsky
Spades by Tchaikovsky*
Is a book I can’t get through
Too much racist stuff
*edited to pare down the syllables
Too much racist stuff
In the otherwise classic
Birth of a Nation
Birth of a Nation
Is a cinema classic
But very racist
But very racist
That Birth of a Nation was
And yet, a classic
And yet a classic
“Would you hold it against me?”
Always works for me.
Always works for me.
They’re great panty liners for
That time of the month.
That time of the month
I feel sluggish and bloated
Free wings at the bar
Free wings at the bar
Liquor in the front, poker…
Well, you know the rest
“Well, you know the rest
of the story.” Do you think
you are Paul Harvey?
You are Paul Harvey?
I’m running for my life. The
dead are coming back.