“I’d rather smoke it”
I said when I heard about
rectal cigarettes
Rectal cigarettes?
That gives a new meaning to
“Shove it up your ass.”
“Shove it up your ass”
Concise directions on a
Suppository
Suppository-
form whisky; that’s what we need.
Get drunk off your ass.
Get drunk off your ass
When you drink our new brand of
Donkey Piss Whiskey
Donkey piss Whiskey
Monkey shit walnut brownies
I just pea green soup
I just pea green soup
after drinking much green beer
on St. Paddy’s day.
On St. Paddy’s Day
Frisky leprechauns frolic
Drink alcoholic
Drink alcoholic
drinks 'til you pass out. Then I
can lift your wallet.
Can lift your wallet
And do many more things, too:
A seeing-eye dog
A seeing eye dog
Is tall, metal, and keeps food
Oh wait, that’s my fridge
Oh, wait, that’s my fridge.
So sorry to take your food,
but it was tasty.
But it was tasty,
someone else’s saliva,
when we were kissing.
When we were kissing
I thought of Katy Perry
Her giant fun bags
Her giant fun bags
burst when I sat on them. Whoops!
Now she’s mad at me.
Now she’s mad at me.
I said, “Although you’re gorgeous,
Your sister’s hotter.”
Your sister’s hotter.
Please remind me again why
I’m sleeping with you
“I’m sleeping with you,”
I said to the fish, “But I
Don’t like you that way.”
Don’t like you that way.
Everyone on the planet
Has heard that excuse.
Has heard that excuse
Many, many times before
I want the real reason.