Haiku Madness

Groundhogs are woodchucks?
Are they? Are they really? No.
Woodchucks are groundhogs!

Woodchucks are groundhogs
But we don’t have a Woodchuck Day
Six more winter weeks?

Six more winter weeks?
Thanks to no ozone, I can
Do it in my shorts

Do it in my shorts?
What are we talking about?
Wash and wax the car.

Wash and wax the car.
Repeat until exhausted.
Karate Master.

Karate Master
Breaking boards with roundhouse kicks
Eighth-degree black belt

Eighth-degree black belt
The air bender has returned
Trouble should look out!

Trouble should look out!
Not-so-trouble should look in.
Or something like that.

Or something like that
tree. I would love to be that
Strong and beautiful

Strong and beautiful
The legend of Samson, or
Maybe it’s Xena

Maybe it’s Xena
Who wants to bed Gabrielle
Lesbian subtext

Lesbian subtext
With two women, a threesome
Every man’s wild dream

Every man’s wild dream
hope careening into scream
funny way to die

funny way to die
A tragic blimp accident
That’s the way to go

That’s the way to go;
the other way would lead you
straight to his castle!

Straight to his castle
Through twisty trails, all alike,
North, South, East or West?

North, South, East or West?
Sterling, Joe, Ron, or Jerry?
Let’s play the Name Game!

Let’s play the Name Game?
Or would you like something else,
Monopoly, good.

Monpoly good
Oligopoly is bad
It’s good to be bad

It’s good to be bad.
I quite agree. That is why
I’m bad to the bone!