I’m bad to the bone
Osteoporosis says
I’m bad in the bones
I’m bad in the bones,
in the muscles, tendons too.
Can’t run from your age.
Can’t run from your age,
But my hopped up Hoveround
Leaves it in the dust.
Leaves it in the dust.
Leaves what? My heart. She broke it
in a million shards.
In a million shards
Like broken glass valentines
The way some go
The way some go
is not to have seventeen
syllables. You goofed!
syllables. You goofed!
Said Miss Jones, My Teacher
I replied …Says You!
I replied “Says you!”
As a snappy comeback, 2
Days after the dis
Days after the dis-
appearance of Judge Crater,
Much speculation.
Much speculation
If OJ did it or not
But we know he did
But we know he did
Just like you, we are the same
Human to a fault.
Human to a fault
To err, but to screw things up
Takes a computer
Takes a computer
to calculate the mistakes
I have made in life.
I have made in life
I have made a maid in life?
Why yes, lucky me
Why yes, lucky me
I found a ten-dollar bill
On my neighbor’s lawn
On my neighbour’s lawn
Everything hides 'neath the snow
Winter is such fun
Winter is such fun
Writing my name in the snow
You girls can’t do that.
You girls can’t do that
And you can’t pee, standing up
But we men, we can
But we men, we can
Pee standing up? Let’s see you
push out a baby.
Push out a baby?
Why, officer, I had to.
Kid owed me money.