A shot of Jim Beam
Will wash the taste from my mouth
Malort sure tastes awful
Malört sure tastes awful
Malört, Swedish for “wormwood”
Is the most nasty
Is the most nasty
bully from your grade-school days
now doing hard time?
Now doing hard time?
Not me. This old coyote
too smart to get caught.
Too smart to get caught
That’s the way to be. Keep one
Step ahead of them
Step ahead of them
Throw yourself up on the hood
Sue for damages
Sue for damages!
It’s the American way.
Pay your legal bills.
Pay your legal bills
on time and with a smile, dude.
Lawyers are your friends.
Lawyers are your friends
If they help you win your case.
If not, they are scum.
If not, they are scum
Pond scum, shoe scum, snots with ties
If we win, love 'em!
If we win, love 'em?
Hey, dawg, I will love women
if we win or lose!
If we win or lose
At least it isn’t a tie
Just kiss your sister
Just kiss your sister
if you need some practice. Just
don’t go past first base.
Don’t go past first base
You’ll get thrown out at second
Advance with caution
Advance with caution.
Hone your wits and peel your eyes.
Don’t be April’s fool.
Don’t be April’s fool.
She’s such a tease, sunny breeze;
Then dumps feet of snow.
Then dumps feet of snow
March comes in like a lion
But out like a lamb
But out like a lamb
What rhymes with lion and lamb?
Dia-phram. Ha! Ha!
Dia-phram. Ha! Ha!
Air and oil filters are Fram.
Keep your car well tuned.
Keep your car well tuned
You don’t want it breaking down
While you’re on a date