Groucho would be proud
Harpo would be left speechless
Zeppo…forgotten
Zeppo forgotten
Gummo not even mentioned
What about Chico?
What about Chico?
He’s downtown at the pool hall,
hustlin’ the suckers!
Hustlin’ the suckers.
That’s what I do. Come get your
lollipops real cheap.
Lollipops real cheap
Candies for all the kiddies
Hop in my Ford Van
Hop in my Ford Van
and we’ll go to the drive-in
just like we used to.
Just like we used to
Way back when the air was clean,
And sex was dirty.
And sex was dirty
A Chicagoan rebelled
His name? Hugh Hefner.
His name? Hugh Hefner.
His house? The Playboy Mansion.
His girls? VERRRRRY nice.
His girls? **VERRRRRY nice. **
But the whole world wonders why
they’re not just full whores…
They’re not just full whores,
Do it for money, honey?
That’s a whore to me.
That’s a whore to me.
And when there’s a bunch of them:
It’s a whored of whores.
It’s a whored of whores,
Parliament of prostitutes,
Pimpernel of pimps.
Pimpernel of pimps
Preponderence of pussy
Galore, by golly
“Galore, by golly!”
he shouted when he saw it
piles and piles of cash.
Piles and piles of cash
Secured behind the locked bars
Until I break in
Until I break in
these new shoes on my poor feet
they are gonna pinch.
They are gonna pinch
Mom used to always do that
It sure beats The Belt
It sure beats the Belt,
driving country roads, searching
for a whored of whores.
For a whored of whores
They were on television
Watch Here Come the Brides