Haiku Madness

Watch *Here Come the Brides *
or Petticoat Junction, just
not Duck Dynasty!

Not .Duck dynasty!
Those rulers are for the birds.
Give me the crocodiles!

Give me crocodiles!
Gators and tortoises too.
Herpetology.

Herpetology
Molecular chemistry
Just, no calculus

Just no! Calculus
Your Vexing Convolutions
Will Plague me no longer

Just no! Calculus
Your Vexing Convolutions
Plague me no longer

Plague me no longer
Thanks for correcting that post
For five syllables

For five syllables’
worth of monkey head chowder:
Name the Lost Princess.

Name the Lost Princess
In the form of a question,
Win Rice-a-Roni.

Win Rice-a-Roni
It’s the San Francisco treat
Party in your mouth!

Party in your mouth!
Like it’s Nineteen Ninety Nine
You know you want to

You know you want to
fulfill your own dreams and start
reading the Straight Dope.

reading the Straight Dope.
I learn of so many things.
Some useful; some not.

Some useful; some not
Some entertaining, some not
Read it anyway!

Read it anyway!
My autobiography
isn’t that boring.

Isn’t that boring?
Ben Stein asks: “Anyone, anyone?”
Bueller takes the day.

Bueller takes the day
He takes the Ferrari, too
For a spin with friends

For a spin with friends
take a little red Corvette.
Prince would be so proud.

Prince would be so proud.
He started out a pauper.
Pauper then, Prince now.

Pauper then, Prince now
Tom Canty, the usurper
In Mark Twain’s classic