Haiku Madness

Dogs are man’s best friends.
Until they learn to drive, or
Arm themselves with guns.

Arm themselves with guns -
That’s what gun owners will do
if you steal their bread.

if you steal their bread,
Hippies give you their dope too;
Give peace a chance, man.

Give peace a chance, man,
It has to be better than
the alternative.

The alternative?
If not peace, then we’re killing.
Such a complete waste.

Such a complete waste.
Keeping women barefoot, in
the kitchen, pregnant.

The kitchen pregnant,
A tennis ball sings a song -
Wow, I am too drunk!

Wow, I am too drunk
to count the number of the
schhyllabubs right now!

Schhyllabubs right now!
I don’t know what they are, but
I want some. Right now!

“I want some right now”,
Ann-Margret whispered to me
And then I awoke

And then I awoke.
But instead of coffee, I
hit the chloroform.

Hit the chloroform
Inhale deeply. You’re knocked out.
Sleep for a long time.

Sleep for a long time.
Work a double shift, and then
Sleep for a long time.

Sleep for a long time,
Pascal, until Cthulhu comes;
You made a bad bet.

You made a bad bet
Hit on a soft 17
Don’t stand on it, man!

Don’t stand on it, man,
back off of the pedal; that
cop won’t ticket you.

Cop won’t ticket you?
He nailed me for being
a coyote, sir.

A coyote, sir.
That’s why you’re not tripping, man -
It’s not peyote.

It’s not peyote?
It came from Don Quixote!
Where’s Sancho Panza?

Where’s Sancho Panza
He’s over Macho Grande
Tell that to George Zip