Haiku Madness

Yogi really craved
To win a World Series, but
he coached a bad team.

He coached a bad team:
Linus caught flies with blanket,
Snoopy bit runners.

Snoopy bit runners
He was a strong believer
in motivation.

In motivation
The missus gave me an F
The lawn needs mowing

The lawn needs mowing,
but I’m in hot pursuit of
women and reefer.

Women and reefer
Stoli, doughnuts, five card stud
Thems all my vices

Thems all my vices,
and here are all my c-clamps.
Next up, bench grinders!

Next up, bench grinders,
table subs, side-stand hoagies:
Furniture as food.

furniture as food
or the reverse; don’t jump on
my chicken divan

My chicken divan
Ma-ma-ma my sharona
Little pretty one

Little pretty one
eyed flower is a daisy
in the garden green

In the garden green
My tomatoes are not ripe
So I’ll fry them up

So I’ll fry them up,
crisp their skins a golden brown,
and serve with cole slaw.

and serve with cole slaw.
which nobody ever eats.
A waste of cabbage.

A waste of cabbage?
I beg to differ. I am
proud to eat cole slaw.

Proud to eat cole slaw!
I get extra at Long John’s
when I drive through there.

when I drive through there
I always start from here, then
end over yonder

End over yonder,
escaping all life’s worries,
vacation in Rome.

vacation in Rome.
Hope to see the Pope, but he’s
in Argentina.

In Argentina
beware the vile alpacas–
they might just bite you!