Haiku Madness

Then the Chrisses crossed
Chris Katan clumsily crashed
into Chris Carter

Into Chris Carter
Chis Katan crashed, causing a
crisis of Chrisses.

Crisis of Chrisses
Chris Cooper crisply crowed
“Christ on a cracker!”

“Christ on a cracker!”
Is a euphemism for
“Shit on a shingle”

Missing syllable
Tears the fabric of space/time
The universe ends.:stuck_out_tongue:

Continuing…

Shit on a shingle?
Holy Eucharist, Batman
No more church for me.

No more church for me
Because my palms keep bleeding
What’s stigmata you?

What’s stigmata you?
Don’t hijack a jet airplane.
Fuhgeddaboutit

Fuhgeddaboutit
Said my Muddah and Faddah
'bout Camp Granada

'Bout Camp Granada,
Allan Sherman ruled the roost:
Yiddischer schticken.

“Yiddischer schticken”
Answers the question, “What is
Jewish and schticky?”

Jewish and schticky
That’s most of Mel Brooks’ movies
But damn they’re funny

But damn they’re funny,
Human monkeys scampering,
Earth’s Comic Relief

Earth’s Comic Relief:
for Jovian’s suffering
from Blue Cosmic Angst!

From blue cosmic angst
Comes icebergs frozen in time
Blue-white statuettes

Blue-white statuettes
Turn into water puddles
When the sun comes out.

When the sun comes out,
You’ll find the albino guy
Where the sun don’t shine.

Where the sun don’t shine
You will be though an asshole
And you’ll give a crap

And you’ll give a crap
To your vet when he asks for
Your dog’s stool sample

Your dog’s stool sample
I’ve only one thing to scream:
GET OFF MY FRONT LAWN!

GET OFF MY FRONT LAWN!
unless you’ve brought me strippers
and reefer. Damn kids.