Do it anywhere!
Show her you love her the best.
It’s Valentine’s Day.
It’s Valentine’s Day
Perfect day to show your love
Or so the card says
…Or so the card says.
The choc’lates have a diff’rent
Story to tell, friend.
Story to tell, friend.
Everybody has one and
Nobody listens.
Nobody listens
To my ideas; but one fart,
And they are all ears.
And they are all ears?
Well, why should I give a hoot?
So are jackasses.
So, are jackasses
really that common on the
Straight Dope Message Board?
Straight Dope Message Board?
The greatest collection of
Minds on the Web, hear?
Minds on the Web, hear
our plea! Stamp out ignorance!
Who am I kidding?
Who am I kidding
With all this Haiku nonsense?
I’m a lumberjack.
I’m a lumberjack.
I’m proud to be the staunchest
enemy of ents
Enemy of ents.
What Clouseau said when he meant
I really hate ants.
I really hate ants.
They get in my food. Worse yet,
they get in my pants!
They get in my pants
And then those ferrets of mine
Won’t come out again.
Won’t come out again:
I nailed the doors and windows
shut against the cold.
Shut against the cold
Maybe you should check outside
It’s getting warmer
It’s getting warmer:
The dog is searching for that
Dead cat I buried.
Dead cat I buried
I don’t sneeze anymore but
Its heart keeps ticking
Its heart keeps ticking?!
It cannot be! I buried
it beneath the floor!
Tt beneath the floor!
How long has it been there, and
What the fuck is it?