Cheek is asinine -
but has pun reared its ugly
head up someone’s ass?
head up someone’s ass
turn right at the pancreas
directions to spleen
directions to spleen,
Ricky yelled at his Lucy,
but got only Waaaaa
but got only Waaaaa
writing my water haiku
syllable problem
Syllable problem:
“Seven” is two syllables,
“Five” is only one.
“Five” is only one
hand’s or foot’s worth of counting.
You can go further.
You can go further
If (and only if) you get
Started before them.
Started before them.
But I finished after them.
Story of my life.
Story of my life
Is only one chapter long;
Not much has happened. 
Not much has happened,
but right around the corner
disaster could loom.
[There, don’t you feel better now?]
disaster could loom
But I have my plans sewn up
Whole cloth and nine yards.
Whole cloth and nine yards
of lies, deceits, illusions
and fairy stories.
…and fairy stories.
Oh, you’ve read the Bible, too?
Needs a better plot.
Needs a better plot
than that dry, black gumbo dirt
Texans call soil.
Texans call soil
But when they drop that damn “S”
They can shout “OIL!!!”
They can shout, OIL!!
Jethro’s black gold, Texas tea.
There’s movie stars, too.
There’s movie stars, too
many to mention but there’s
only one Bogie.
Only one bogie?
I’m not filling out any
UFO report.
UFO Report:
You should see their faces when
we bring out the probe.
We bring out the probe.
It’s “Red Rover, Red Rover
Who will bend over?”