Haiku Madness

Gotta pay full price
To get the happy ending;
Blow jobs cost extra.

Blow jobs cost extra
But I hear no complaining
Nor refund requests

‘nor’ refund requests
what’s a logical NOR worth?
more than one’d have guessed.

More than one’d have guessed…
'Twas only a C-cup breast.
She’s not D-oubly blessed.

She’s not D-oubly blessed
just once, like the pleb she is
we don’t have to rhyme

We don’t have to rhyme
It takes just a little time
Surely ain’t a crime

Surely ain’t a crime,
compared to how we slaughter
Haiku all the time.

Haiku all the time:
102.5 FM,
It’s WHKU.

It’s WHKU
with your haikus on the air.
a non-sequiter.

a non-sequiter
walked into a bar; sounds like
a Mitch Hedberg joke

A Mitch Hedberg joke.
What a loss - all the laughter
we have missed out on.

We have missed out on
So much joy, laughter and love.
Seasons in the Sun.

Seasons in the sun
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees
Damn was that painful

Damn was that painful!
Sticker burrs in the summer,
and I went barefoot.

And I went barefoot,
That time I lost my socks and
The dog ate my shoes.

The dog ate my shoes
They were steel toed boots, now he
gets stopped at airports

gets stopped at airports,
I only wanted to fly.
Where is my luggage?

Where is my luggage?
It didn’t just walk away
Because it has wheels

Because it has wheels
My junk doesn’t get road rash
Dragging on the ground

Dragging on the ground,
the last clown didn’t quite fit
and the children cried.