Haiku Madness

Hipster thinks he’s cool.
He alone has discovered
“Veg and the Selfies”.

Veg and the Selfies,
Was a failed 6os rock group,
Ahead of their times.

Ahead of their times
revered by later folk but
not by creditors

not by creditors
will I be hounded, because
I gave them your name

I gave them your name.
I just gave birth to triplets:
Beth, Liz and Betty.

Beth, Liz and Betty
married Rick, Dick, and Richard
twice- Taylor Burton.

Twice, Taylor Burton
Won the Olympic gold for
Tobacco spitting

Tobacco spitting
Is not as hot a sport as
Tabasco spitting

Tabasco spitting
dragons ridden by Cajuns:
cause of climate change.

Cause of climate change?
Farting livestock in the field,
a dairy air, no?

A dairy air? No!
Seinfeld’s ASSMAN episode:
A derriere, right?

A derriere, right?
A fancy name for the ass
Leave it to the French

Leave it to the French?
I don’t think I can do that.
I don’t have DeGaulle.

I don’t have DeGaulle
but there is a Molotov
cocktail in my bar.

“Cocktail in my bar?”,
she purred; “You might get lucky…”
But I don’t play cards!

But I don’t play cards
Nor Trivia Dominos –
Oh, wait, Yes, I do.

oh, wait yes I do
object to this wedding, said
the traumatized groom

The traumatized groom
Was kicked by a horse, and now
“Mr. Ed” scares him.

Mr. Ed scares him.
Do the Giants scare the Cards?
LET’S GO GIANTS!!! – WIN!

Let’s go Giants, win
Your stupid, childish game
Says the Tigers fan