Haiku Madness

Whether bull or bear,
Get the hell out of the woods.
Your life is at risk.

Your life is at risk
if you sunbathe on a boat
(flying manta ray)

Flying manta ray –
The word means “cloak” in Spanish,
It resembles one.

it resembles one
of those giant cucumbers
she said of my…nose

She said of my…nose
it’s shaped like a giant whale
and whoops, “THAR SHE BLOWS!”

And, “Whoops, THAR SHE BLOWS!”
The Sea Captain’s version of
“Whoomp! (There It Is),” mate.

Whoomp! (There It Is)," mate
and Who Let the Seadogs Out
and The Way I Arrrrgh!

“And the way I…arrrrgh!”
I guess we will never know
How he makes porridge.

How he makes porridge
Is no one’s business but his
Each man has secrets

Each man has secrets,
or that’s what we let them think.
We always find out.

We always find out
if you are naughty or nice.
We are Santa’s elves.

We are Santa’s elves.
AND WE’RE SICK OF WORKING HERE.
Fuck toys. Bring us BEER.

Fuck toys. Bring us BEER.
I remember that scene from
“Cherry 2000”

Cherry 2000
Had crashing issues, but so
did Cherry XP

Did Cherry XP
ever star in a film by
Atom Egoyan?

Atom Egoyan
Never directed a film
Starring Aeon Flux.

Starring Aeon Flux
and a cast of thousands, but
they’re all clones, haha!

They’re all clones, haha!
But that’s all right 'cos they are
Scarlett Johansson.

Scarlett Johansson.
The Girl with a Pearl Earring.
Well, the book was good.

Well, the book was good.
Said of most of Stephen King’s.
The movie was gross.