See my confusion?
Get a magnifying glass
'cause I’m razor sharp.
'Cause I’m razor sharp,
It was unanimous; they
Let me cut the cheese
Let me cut the cheese
With forty birthday candles
(We can’t afford cake)
(We can’t afford cake)
Take Marie Antoinette’s advice,
Then let them eat quiche
Then let them eat quiche -
Those hearty real manly men
Sought by the ladies.
Sought by the ladies,
Admired by the laddies,
He is James. T. Kirk.
He is James T. Kirk
He will bed your computer
And wreck your ladies
(Wait did I get that backwards?)
And wreck your ladies?
Well, modesty forbids, but
I try my darnedest.
I try my darnedest
to stay off the naughty list
(or to bribe Santa).
or to bribe Santa
with cookies? hot chocolate?
or hookers and blow?
or hookers and blow?
Was his option to marriage
Now he’s broke and high
Now he’s broke and high,
with boots that reach to mid-thigh.
Lou Reed was correct.
Lou Reed was correct.
Take a walk on the wild side,
doo de do de doo…
doo de do de doo…
Sinatra said it better:
Doo be doo be doo
Doo be doo be doo,
Creepy Penguins selling Bud.
Real beer, it is not.
Real beer? It is not
The taste that matters, it’s how
Quickly you get drunk!
Quickly you get drunk
Then turn into Don Rickles
Life of party. Not.
Life of party. Not.
Pissing on the Couch again.
Not Cool you Dweebie.
Not Cool you Dweebie,
I absolutely agree
and I would ban them.
and I would ban them,
Banksy, Band-Aid, Ban Mihs, too;
Bank roll, Ban Ki moon.
Stream of consciousness haiku sorry.