Old pornographers
Never do die, they just quit
wait for it…Coming,
wait for it, coming
to a theater near you
reasons to stay home
Reasons to stay home?
Hah! An easy one for me.
Rain, rain and more rain.
Rain, rain and more rain
Oh Where, Oh Where must I be?
Oh yeah Seattle
Oh yeah, Seattle
Does get sunshine one or two
Hours every year.
Hours every year
I pity poor uninformed
non-Seattleites. 
Non-Seattleites
Just go “BOOM” on the launch pad,
Don’t achieve orbit.
Don’t achieve orbit,
Rudolph, without wearing your
Shiny schnozzola!
Shiny schnozzola!
Nationwide is on your side,
Sings the quarterback
Sings the Quarterback,
A song five times better than
one by Nickelback.
“One”, by Nickelback
Wait, wasn’t that Three Dog Night?
Loneliest number
Loneliest number,
When seven ate nine, and all
Other integers
Other integers
avoided forty, because
he was much too tense.
he was much too tense
he drank Bloody Valiums
to calm himself down
To calm himself down,
24/7 Yoga:
Blissfully serene.
Blissfully serene
On the outside; but inside,
He’s a Maneater!
He’s a Maneater!
Look at him rip into them -
Hungry Man dinners.
Hungry Man Dinners.
Not to be bought by female
Vegetarians.
Vegetarians?
Choc’late cake only; I’m a
Dessertarian.
Dessertarian.
This describes me to a T.
Cupcakes, pies, cookies.*
*I’d list more but I ran out of syllables