All our royalties.
Kings, queens, princes, princesses
Dukes, earls, knights, et. al.
Dukes, earls, knights, et al.
House of Lords denizens, but
not in my kitchen
Not in my kitchen
Houses are built with bathrooms
For a good reason
“For a good reason
I love the autumn season.”
Said Jackie Gleason
Said Jackie Gleason,
“I truly dig haiku, but
can’t write it myself.”
Can’t write it myself;
I’ll have to hire a ghost to
tell my life story.
Tell my life story:
The world needs more Bazooka
Bubble gum wrappers.
Bubble gum wrappers
Make the perfect liners for
Tiny bird cages
Tiny Bird cages
the gigantic Angry Bird,
garnering two points
garnering two points
In football is fun, you can
Do the safety dance
Do the Safety Dance,
Then do the Electric Slide,
Ugh, just shoot me now!
Ugh, just shoot me now
Wait! Halle Berry loves me?
Okay, I changed my–
Okay, I changed my–
Underwear to a clean pair.
Now can we go out?
Now can we go out?
I’m not agoraphobic
The door is just stuck
The door is just stuck.
It’s trying to stay a door.
Instead of a jar.
Instead of a jar,
I put my spaghetti sauce
In a large squirt gun.
In a large squirt gun.
Add vodka, rum, and sugar
Then drink a shooter
…then drink a shooter.
All of the hunters are drunk?
You’ll shoot a drinker.
You’ll shoot a drinker,
or maybe droot a shinker,
no more scotch tonight.
No more Scotch tonight.
I feel more like a German
chocolate cake fest.