Drowned m’bad seff
But I rose three days later
Opps, Easter, not Yule.
Opps, Easter, not Yule
Oops, meant to say oops, not opps
Or did I mean poops?
Or did I mean poops
When I said 'twas disgusting?
Trump drops one more load.
Trump drops one more load
Of food to the refugees
And then I awoke
And then I awoke
To see what was the matter
Nothing. Day after.
Nothing. Day after.
December 26th is
Always a letdown.
Always a letdown
When your parents buy knock-off
Toys made in China
Toys made in China?
Just let knock-off Godzilla
Stomp them to pieces.
Stomp them to pieces
Could be a better name for
Cage the Elephant
Cage the Elephant
Paid fifty cents to see him
Jump over the fence
Jump over the fence!
Uh oh, you caught your trousers -
Unexpected moon.
Unexpected Moon
River by Hank Mancini
Wider than a mile
Wider than a mile
But no deeper than an inch
Impresses no one.
Impresses no one
Your Facebook post that your kid’s
So freakin’ special
So freakin’ special
That I had to call you out
You special snowflake!
You special snowflake;
Unlike other crystals, it
Has seventeen sides.
Has seventeen sides
at the Golden Corral, then
hits the dessert bar.
hits the dessert bar
with both fists, crying, wailing
“Why is there no pie?!?!?”
Why is there no pie?
I brought it when I came back
Now it’s gone again?
Now it’s gone again?
You know, that lovin’ feeling
I think you’ve lost it