Haiku Madness

By flirting with guys
She gets great tips but also
Sometimes gets the shaft

Sometimes gets the Shaft
say this cat’s a bad mother
The black private dick

The black private dick
Looks for Josh Andrew Koenig
Boner gone missing

Boner gone missing
And now we’ve come full circle
But let’s keep going

But let’s keep going
haikus can go forever
if 5-7-5.

If 5-7-5
Makes the poem a haiku
How come they don’t rhyme?

how come they don’t rhyme?
wordplay consumes so much time
mysterious crime

Mysterious crime
A stolen cathedral chime
Only clue? A dead mime

Only clue dead mime
with an extra syllable
Gladiator guilt

Gladiator guilt
Ben Hur experienced it
When he cut a fart

When he cut a fart
smelling like an outhouse fire
hero of fifth grade

hero of fifth grade
punk who pulled the fire alarm
Friday afternoon

Friday afternoon
is a great time to relax;
watch out for your boss!

Watch out for your boss!
It’s tough to get a new job
In this recession.

In this recession
House values sink faster than
Stones and Led Zeppelins

Stones and Led Zeppelins
aren’t really my cup of tea;
prefer Bach, Handel.

Prefer Bach, Handel
for classical snooze alarm
any waltz by Strauss

Any waltz by Strauss
It’s one-two-three, one-two-three
My toe’s a-tappin’

My toes’ a-tappin’
Nip pat as 'e otym? Hmm. No,
doesn’t quite work out

Doesn’t quite work out
making buildings out of cheese
they melt in July