Haiku Madness

Oh no! Susanna!
For the love of god, no teeth!
My willie thanks you.

“My Willie thanks you.”
“Ach, I’m not yer Willie you
Pansy Principal.”

Pansy Principal?
Victoria Principal!
She is more my type.
(Especially in the 1970s and 1980s)

She is more my type:
The Lana King/Ming-na Wen/
Heather Graham combo.
(I know where you’re going with this, Bullitt. :D)

Heather Graham combo?
“Voluptuousness” is in.
Yeah, baby - love it.

Yeah, baby - love it
Ah, right there…do it like that
She gives good back-scratch

She gives good back-scratch
Keep scratching lower, lower
and then towards the front

Then towards the front;
Make that bumper sparkle for
When I get brake-checked.

When I get brake-checked
A free service that ends up
Costing me plenty

Costing me Plenty
And leaving me with just Good
Damn candy thieves!

(good one, Fear, but I gotta call foul on your last line)

Day-um candy thieves
Took my One Hundred Grand bar
It was not insured

D’oh!

It was not insured?
It was worth one hundred grand?
That is really absurd!

That’s really absurd:
The last line above has six
Syllables, not five.
:wink:

Syllables, not five.
BUT WAIT! Here’s a save for you -
Just pronounce it “that’s”.

Just pronounce it “that’s”
But spell it “M-x-p-k”
Trolling your teacher

Trolling your teacher
Won’t start for another month.
Enjoy your summer break!

Enjoy your summer break!
Was not, it seems, a nice thing
To say to this guy

To say to this guy
Does one have to speak in French
Does he know English?

Does he know English?
Banana? Bran? Blueberry?
Some muffin expert