Some muffin expert
Said six bran muffins per day
Would keep me busy
Would keep me busy
Watching water tower at
Petticoat Junction
Petticoat Junction
“Lotsa curves, you bet!” was a
Pretty racy line
Pretty racy line
That lo-cut bikini string
Let me untie it
Let me untie it;
You couldn’t cast-off a boat
If your -WHOOPS- spuh-lash
If your -WHOOPS- spuh-lash
You’re all wet now, give up and…
Watch the Olympics
Watch the Olympics
Just for women’s volleyball
Sweet Jesus, they’re hot
Sweet Jesus, they’re hot
Fresh out of the microwave
Steamed vegetables
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No kidding, you are absolutely right, there!
(One syllable short there, Biffster?)
In play:
Steam-med vegetables
For dinner while I watch that
Womens’ volleyball
Womens’ volleyball
Every haiku should feature
Womens’ volleyball
Womens’ volleyball
More than one haiku should have
Womens’ volleyball
Womens’ volleyball
Who will break this cycle of
Womens’ volleyball
Women’s volleyball
Tim Minchin’s next musical
After Groundhog Day.
After Groundhog Day,
I go back to sleep if the
Beast sees his shadow.
Beast sees his shadow
Gets scared, hides under covers
Not much of a beast
Not much of a beast
It hides under the covers
Afraid to be seen.
Afraid to be seen
And not heard, and not spoken
Gone, like a bad fart
Gone, like a bad fart,
It creeps back into my ass.
Lost chance to break wind.
Lost chance to break wind
‘Silent but deadlies’ are worst
I like how mine smell
I like how mine smell
Like fragrant lilac blossoms.
Alas they’re dead now.