Without my crystals
Adding flavor to Folgers
I won’t drink coffee
I won’t drink coffee?
Just who are you talking to?
Caffeine Junkie Me?
Caffeine junkie me?
Not since my heart surgery.
But before? Well, yeah.
But before? Well, yeah.
I would have said “But before?
Well, duhhhhhhh.”…Just sayin’.
Well, duhhhhhhh."…Just sayin’
that will make someone sound dumb
and make you sound smart
and make you sound smart
Use my new Smartinator
Zap smart into you
Zap smart into you.
That smarts you foo’. It’s more fun
To run numb and dumb.
To run numb and dumb
Do the Anchorage 5K
Witch’s tit/brass bra
Witch’s tit / brass bra
Sorcerer’s poorly fitted
Spotted red codpiece
(A haiku contest here:
Spotted red codpiece
Then I spotted a green thong
Quite the Christmas bash
Quite the Christmas bash
Was held in Kennibunkport
Till George H.W. puked.
Foul! 
How about:
Quite the Christmas bash
Was held in Kennibunkport
Till W. puked
Till W. puked
X, Y, and even that Z
Maintained composure
“Maintained composure”
Applies to me except for
When stubbing a toe.
When stubbing a toe
Try not to scream loudly and
wake up the whole house
Wake up the whole house!
Trump is President Elect.
I need to go puke.
I need to go puke
Stayed at the pub 'til close and
I was overserved
I was overserved,
But at it all anyway.
Oh, where are my Tums?
Oh, where are my Tums?
Taco Bell had a big sale
BOGO burritos
BOGO burritos
Sounds like a money saver
But I’d just get four