But I’d just get four
Men for the landing party;
All of them red shirts.
All of them red shirts,
Hey! Hydrogen peroxide!
Wipe it on right now!
Wipe it on right now!
I must use disinfectant
All day, constantly!
.
All day, constantly!
The music plays in my head.
And, hell, I’m tone-deaf!
And, hell, I’m tone deaf.
Why else would I be sittin’
Here, whistlin’ “Dixie”?
Here, whistlin’ “Dixie”
While whittlin’ on my front porch
Yeah, I’m in the South
Yeah, I’m in the south
Of Detroit, where I was born
And raised. Believe me.
And raised. Believe me,
I was hoping you would fold
My bluff done been called
My bluff done been called.
“I have better things to do.”
And yet, here I am.
And yet, here I am
Third trip through the buffet line
Hey, it’s Fat Tuesday
Hey, it’s Fat Tuesday
And we will eat some pączki
'Til our bellies swell
'Til our bellies swell
and pop like fatty balloons,
launching us skyward.
launching us skyward
our ejector seats were tripped
nice view from up here
Nice view from up here.
See you in the square root of
2d over g.
2d over g?
I HATE eggplant! What? I thought
You said “aubergine.”
You said aubergine
And he said ovum produce
It’s frikkin’ eggplant
It’s frikkin eggplant,
Now clean your plate. There’s starving
Children in China.
“Children in China
Are starving,” Mom always said.
“Oh, yeah, Mom? Name two.”
“Oh, yeah, Mom? Name two
People you think I look like”
“The mailman and me”
“The Mailman and Me,”
Opened and closed the same night
On Broadway. It stank.
(Added capitals to first line. Apologies if a rule was violated.)