Haiku Madness

“But so what, it’s sweet,”
the dentist said, offering
me sugar toothpaste

Me sugar toothpaste
Has given cavities to
Me toothbrush, ya see.

“Me toothbrush, ya see”
Ringo replied when queried
'bout his pearly whites

'bout his pearly whites
the wolf had little comment;
Red Riding Hood frowned

Red Riding Hood frowned.
But smiled as she shot the wolf.
The story is wrong.

The story is wrong
“Moon landings” were all shot in
Young Spielberg’s basement
(is it Spe-el-berg or Speel-berg?)

Young Spielberg’s basement:
Saws, chisels, files. Now, he’s a
diff’rent kind of hack.

diff’rent kind of hack
is the definition of
what an Uber is

What an Uber is
Are cars blocking city streets
For empty buses

For empty buses
I sit and wait and wait
Where the hell is it?

Where the hell is it?
I think I took a wrong turn
At Albuquerque

At Albuquerque
The Perseids are coming!
On the 11th

On the 11th
frame, a gutter ball, after
10 more before it

10 more before it?
Like, Sixpence None the Richer?
Like, Five for Fighting?

Like, Five for Fighting?
Or more like, Two for Flinching?
Ow, that hurt my arm!

Ow, that hurt my arm!
Well you shouldn’t have stuck it
In the wood chipper

In the wood chipper
Was the tip of my scarf and
I dove in for it.

I dove in for it
Alas, I came up empty.
The duck boat had sunk.

The duck boat had sunk
We thank our lucky stars that
All the ducks could swim

All the ducks could swim
But they wouldn’t all line up
No ducks in a row