Haiku Madness

Then I tell the truth.
But nobody believes me.
Then I go to jail.

Then I go to jail.
I don’t pass Go. I don’t get
$200.

Then I go to jail
And meet the cutest jailbird
I ever did see

$200
the happiest birthday girl
I ever did see

I ever did see
two hundred dollars or three
pretty good money

Pretty good money
After bad money makes good
Money pretty bad.

Money pretty bad
unless you really need it
then it’s pretty great!

Then it’s pretty great
Then back I go. Can’t stick to
a healthy diet.

A healthy diet
It sounds nice but I want my
Smiley Face cookie

Smiley Face cookie
bring me sugary pleasure
Crunch crunch crunch - mmm, yum!

Crunch crunch crunch - mmm, yum!
Hey, I know I’m quite tasty
But damn! That’s my ear!

mmm

“But damn! That’s my ear!”
Farmer objected to my
stealing his fine corn

stealing his fine corn
has earned me a new nickname
I’m Kernel Mustard

“I’m Kernal Mustard,”
he said in a corny way
and we were all ears

and we were all ears
which made it so difficult
to smell the bad puns

To smell the bad puns
I bowed to my partner, learned
That smell was a feat.

The smell was a feat
but neither feet nor a feat
would ever smell sweet

would ever smell sweet
I thought as I coated my
unit in honey

Unit in, Honey.
Now engage thrusters. Blastoff!
No problem, Houston.

No problem. Houston
metro is bigger that Rhode
Island. It’s a state.