Wanted a threesome
And asked for a hole in one
from the two duffers
Bravo! 
From the two duffers
came lots of cursing as they
missed some easy shots.
Wanted a threesome.
Brought new girl to meet girlfriend.
Having a onesome.
Crap.
Missed some easy shots.
Made some even easier.
No more drinks for me.
No more drinks for me
after the first two dozen
It’s hard to think straight
It’s hard to think straight
I crashed without a helmet
Stupid tricycle
Stupid tricycle
It’s just three unicycles
All tied together
All tied together
Me, my girlfriend, and her friend
Threesomes can be fun!
All tied together
Congress finds the healthcare bills
hope they can fix 'em.
Dammit!
Threesomes can be fun!
I can think of actresses
I’d love to invite.
I’d love to invite
handsome polite men to the
party in my pants
party in my pants!
called out the big ass hooker.
Free installation!
Free installation!
Because installation is
falsely imprisoned
Free installation!
Yelled the carpet salesman, at
least I think he was
Drats!
Falsely imprissoned
I was never convicted
of drowning kittens
Of drowning Kittens
There is no earthly excuse
(Unless they’re all bad)
Unless they’re all bad,
I will eat these walnuts here.
A tough nut to crack
A tough nut to crack
And a hard pill to swallow
Bad tastes in my mouth
Bad tastes in my mouth
Oh why did I even eat
Shit on a shingle?
[del]Bad tastes in my mouth:
Hamburgers, Limburger cheese
And frozen green beans[/del]
Shit on a shingle?
You mean creamed chipped beef on toast?
Wash your mouth with soap!
“Shit on a shingle,”
my dad’s Army buddies called
their typical lunch.
Wash your mouth with soap!
If you wash it with shit it
Will never get clean
Will never get clean
And if you keep touching it,
You’ll make it fall off