When they arrive home
A man just wants to pet his
wife and kiss his dog
Wife and kiss his dog.
And it sounds really nasty,
But is all in fun.
“Butt” is all in fun
Unless it’s someone’s head or
What they are kissing.
What they are kissing
Does not need mentioning in
These virtuous games.
These virtuous games
Have taken all the fun out
Of all fun and games.
Of all fun and games
Scrabble remains this wordsmith’s
Favorite pastime.
Favorite pastime?
Why should I friggin’ pick one?
I hate all of them!
I hate all of them!
Trump and the whole of his staff
Should be locked away
Should be locked away
or else I’ll eat all the fudge
and Christmas cookies.
And Christmas cookies
Are so sickeningly sweet that
I often gag and puke.
I often gag and puke
Whenever I am offered
A glass of eggnog
(note: FOUL! on “I often gag and puke”)
A glass of eggnog
Has me calling foul almost
As much as mustard.
As much as mustard
Should be spread on my sausage
There’s none in the fridge
There’s none in the frig
Easy to solve that problem:
Go out and buy more.
Go out and buy more?
But I’m just standing here with
My sausage exposed
Oops! My bad. Here’s a quick fix: I oft gag and puke.
My sausage exposed
Makes it shrivel so much that
People often laugh.
People often laugh,
But I hardly ever do.
Call me Grouchy Pants.
Call me grouchy pants
But I get impatient with
Grouches in the news.
Grouches in the news
Oscar’s getting evicted
Can’s going condo
Can’s going condo
Seems to better fit Flat-Out
Wrong Trivia thread.