Haiku Madness

What did I just find
On this pizza you ordered
Looks like pineapple!

Looks like pineapple!
I just love pineapple on
Anything! Gimme!

Anything! Gimme!
Shelter! Karaoke! It’s
Just a shot away.

Just a shot away
Is how I might best describe
My next emesis

My next emesis
I will aim the best I can
At a passing car.

At a passing car
I gazed through the windshield from
Down in a sinkhole.

Down in a sinkhole
I decided not to stay.
It was a stinker.

It was a stinker
It was a scoundrel, a louse
A rat and a rake

A rat and a rake
I found them in my tool shed
Not buried treasure

Not buried treasure
Above ground, open treasure
Slacker pirate’s dream

Slacker pirate’s dream
Get a handful of rubies
From a sunken chest

From a sunken chest
To a pair of double Ds
That’s breast enlargement

That’s breast enlargement
But a pair of double A’s
Could mean batteries.

Could mean batteries
Or could be simple assaults
Said Sgt. Friday

Said Sgt. Friday,
to whomever was watching,
“This is the city…”

This is the city
my neck is dirty and a
smidgen gritty.

(foul on boson’s last line)

Smidgen T. Gritty
Didn’t he play the fiddle
In that bluegrass band?

In that bluegrass band?
I found my lifelong lover
Smidgen T. Gritty

Smidgen T. Gritty
Well, he was kinda shitty
Not a nice person

Not a nice person
Yet we made him President
Beating Hillary

(That one wrote itself)