Haiku Madness

Time to zap that corpse
Eyes open, fangs flash bright white.
Damn, it’s a vampire.

What?

I pronounce it man-aise.

Damn, it’s a vampire
Twas bitten by a zombie
Now it’s a zombire!

Now it’s a zombire
Whatever the hell that is.
*Twilight *needs more beasts?

Twilight needs more beasts
start with having real vampires
Vampires don’t sparkle

Do you also call it ‘may’ rather than ‘mayo’?

Maybe it’s a regional thing. Foul withdrawn.

Man-aise is a fairly common pronunciation in the US. Not sure how regional it is. I’m sure I pronounce it that way at times.

Vampires don’t sparkle.
They are not like Fred Farkle.
Hey, Sock it to me!

Hey sock it to me
All my socks have holes in them
So I say darn it

so I say darn it
when speaking to the preacher
never goddamnit

never “goddamnit”
when a hearty “fuck this shit!”
will get to the point

Will get to the Point
I mean, Cedar Point, which has
lots of summer fun.

Lots of summer fun
Can be had at summer camp
Send your kid today

Send your kid today
And send your children’s children
Mother-in-law too

Mother-in-law too
Much to handle sometimes, but
Her daughter’s a peach.

Her daughter’s a peach
And Her son’s a raspberry
Peach Melba Family

Peach Melba Family
Reunion steady progress
Invitations out

Invatations: out
And belly buttons are in
What’s Hot, What’s Not list

What’s Hot, What’s Not list
is useless mindless drivel
Be nonconformist

Be nonconformist
Put cole slaw in your undies
That’s what they do, right?

That’s what they do, right?
Do-whacka-do-whacka-do
Dudley Doright rocks