Haiku Madness

Like those jumbo shrimp?
The secret ingredient
is love (and booze, too)

Is love (and booze, too)
what makes the world go around?
Sure makes my head spin

Sure makes my head spin
when people cannot agree
I want anchovies

I want anchovies
To not be on my pizza
Swim elswhere, fishies

Swim elsewhere, fishies
It looks like a waterslide
But it’s a beer bong

But it’s a beer bong
The frat boy is drinking from.
Ah, campus hijinks!

Ah, campus hijinks
Getting drunk and having fun
Why should we study?

Why should we study?
Why should we care? What the hell?
I’m off to Vegas.

I’m off to Vegas
I can take advantage of
Those hot sluts, er, slots

Those hot sluts, er, slots
have me dreaming of wenches,
trollops, whores and fish.

trollops, whores and fish
all sold by mongers and they
kind of smell the same

kind of smell the same
kind of look a lot alike
This must be LA

This must be LA
The boobs, smiles, and attitudes
They are all fake here

They are all fake here.
Nothing is real. Up is down.
I’m in Wackyland.

I’m in Wackyland.
It’s a theme park where the rides
Are based on these cards.

Are based on these cards
Odds of me winning, that is,
This fifty-cent pot

This fifty-cent pot
Must be the worst weed ever.
Makes chemo pain worse!

Makes chemo pain worse
Though fortunately for me
gangrene cures cancer

gangrene cures cancer
it also cures arthritis
but it ain’t pretty

“But it ain’t pretty,”
griped the hillbilly about his
newborn baby girl.