Haiku Madness

Grandpa stashed it there
Said Grandma, showing her crotch
(sorry about that)

“Sorry about that”
You should be, I can’t delete
this pic from my brain

This pic from my brain
won’t show up on Kodachrome
so you can’t see it.

So you can’t see it.
unless you open your eyes
Kingdom of the blind

“Kingdom of the Blind”
A song by Dry Kill Logic
Among other bands

Among other bands
You’ll find wrapped around me are
rubber and leather

rubber and leather
an S & M fantasy
(not for me, of course)

(not for me, of course)
Aren’t you a dirty old man?
Abbey Road says “yes”

Abbey Road says “Yes,
I am one of the Beatles’
best record albums.”

Best record albums
by the lads, ironically,
don’t feature Pete Best

Don’t feature Pete Best
He has no business drumming
Please just forget him

Please just forget him
you will only miss what you
wanted him to be

Wanted him to be
A doctor, but he’s a chef.
At least he’s happy.

At least he’s happy,
reading so many haikus;
envy him, won’t you?

Envy him won’t you?
Poor Tiger Woods out golfing
Another putter

Another putter
Is what Tiger injected
Once he lost his wood

Once he lost his wood
the second pig went to live
in the house of brick

“Once he lost his wood”
To dirty joke or not to
That is the question.

Ooops

In the house of brick
Here in Des Moines, rock bands play
But not good ones though

But not good ones, though
I would love to vote for them,
there are all too few.

There are all too few
Hairs on the top of my head
Oh why, old age, why?