Oh why, old age, why?
Strike me down with aches and pains.
When I was your age . . .
When I was your age. . .
Huh? Was I saying something?
Must have nodded off
Must have nodded off
Did the dentist fondle me
While he cleaned my teeth?
While he cleaned my teeth
he wanted a discussion.
Huh-uh. Uh-huh. Ow.
“Huh-uh. Uh-huh. Ow,”
is about all he could say
during root canal.
During root canal
I think I was happier
than here now with you.
Than here now with you
I cannot imagine a
better place to be.
Better place to be.
That was my snarky comment
As I flushed my fish.
As I flushed my Fish
I thought, is Abe Vigoda
really deceased yet?
Really deceased, yet
walking around, eating brains
What’s with these zombies?
What’s with these zombies?
Running all fast and crazy.
Zombies should move slow!
Zombies should move slow!
Especially in school zones.
Once past, hit the gas.
Once past, hit the gas
Welcome to the Bean Cafe
They’re great for your heart
They’re great for your heart
those romantic comedies
Maybe not your brain
“Maybe not your brain,”
said Tiger’s wife, when asked what
he’d been listening to.
He’d been list’ning* to
A song he’d long forgotten
'bout a girl he knew.
(*before Mustard cries foul)
Bout, a girl he knew,
could not explain her strange name;
she blamed her parents.
She blamed her parents
Who named her Miss Piggy Pooh
Bear and pig married?
Bear and pig married?
Man Bear Pig in South Park show
Al Gore around here?
Al Gore around here?
No, he’s gone. It’s OK to
turn the lights back on.